is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Found your dick twin last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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