who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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