On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
