it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
