so that wasnt chicken after all
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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