thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
