I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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