So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize