i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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