My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
