I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
