what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
