Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
