Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
