You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We had sex on a dog bed..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
