So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
