Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
