People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
