I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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