508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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