Me too!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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