Don't you send me to vm
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
