I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
meet me or not, i'm out of control
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
