Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Alive.
So much puke
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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