Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
