some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
