I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
