Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
