How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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