He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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