A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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