the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
