is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I enjoy the company of your penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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