do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
