but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
