Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
