and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You took a bar mat shot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
