I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
