watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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