Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
