When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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