dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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