Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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