we have officially lost it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
