Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
