I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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