She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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