I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
