I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
