I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
