yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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