Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
