I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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