dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
