ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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