i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
