Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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