my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
