i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
