I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
40s are totally the cure
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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