I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
