Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
