ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
