Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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