Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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